What's Your Love Language?
Updated: Jul 4
Have you been in a relationship where you gave your all, but it was simply not good enough? You were probably doing everything imaginable to please your partner, giving them the moon and stars, but if your actions were not aligned with their "love language", you most likely did not meet their expectations and the relationship suffered as a result.
Luckily, Dr. Gary Chapman has discovered the 5 Love Languages to help rescue our relationships! The 5 Love Languages provides an outline of how we receive and give love. Naturally, we tend to give love to others in the form in which we like to receive it. The problem with this occurs when you and your partner speak totally different love languages. This is equivalent to a person who speaks Spanish attempting to receive directions from someone speaking Mandarin - you're not going to get very far. By identifying which love language is primary for you and your partner, you will be able to improve the quality of love and satisfaction in your relationships.
Let's begin by reviewing the 5 Love Languages...
1. Words of Affirmation
A person whose primary love language is Words of Affirmation receives love through praise and hearing positive words. People with this primary love language love to be admired. A simply "I love you" or "I'm proud of you" will send them over the moon. It's important for those with Words of Affirmation as their primary love language to always receive uplifting and encouraging words from their partner. Criticism and insults will crush them completely. Most likely, they never forget and sometimes forgive those who speak harshly to them.
2. Acts of Service
A person whose primary love language is Acts of Service appreciates a partner who is willing to lighten their burden through thoughtful actions. These acts could include handling items on a to-do list, taking initiative to complete everyday tasks around the house, or simply paying the bills on time. By their partner completing these tasks, they will feel valued and truly cared for. Those with Acts of Service as their love language resent lazy partners or anyone who does not hold up their end of a bargain.
3. Receiving Gifts
Those with Receiving Gifts as their primary love language truly appreciate the thought and time behind gift-giving. These gifts can be very simple and do not always have to be monetary. Things such as receiving flowers, a hand-made love note, or picking up a necessity will make this person feel deeply loved. A person with Receiving Gifts as their primary love language values holidays and planning events. They will also hold a grudge if their partner fails to remember a thoughtful gift on special occasions, such as birthdays and anniversaries.
4. Quality Time
Those with Quality Time as their primary love language will require as much uninterrupted time with their partner as possible. People with this primary love language enjoy making memories through completing various activities with their partner and also delight in the simple presence of the one they love. If a person with Quality Time as their primary love language feels their partner is not giving them undivided attention, they will become easily annoyed. Cancelling or postponing dates with this person will cause them extreme disappointment.
5. Physical Touch
A person with Physical Touch as their primary love language receives love though warm embraces and touches from their partner. In most cases, these embraces do not have to be made with sexual intent. A simple touch, holding hands, and cuddling will fill this person with so much joy. If you really want to make this person feel special, show a little public display of affection, they crave this! A distant or abusive relationship will devastate a person whose primary love language is Physical Touch.
Now that we have reviewed the 5 Love Languages, it's time for you determine which one is your primary love language! Complete the 5 Love Languages Quiz with your partner and find out the primary way you both receive and give love. May this information provide insight and happiness to your relationship!
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