Soul Ties...What Are They Really?
Updated: Jan 11, 2019
Have you ever been so consumed with the thought of someone that no matter what you did, you couldn't seem to get them off your mind? Or after a breakup have you still felt a strong connection with your ex long after the relationship has ended? These behaviors are signs you could be experiencing what some refer to as a soul tie. This lingering connection is hard for most to overcome, but by taking time to understand the nature of this situation we can learn ways to move past it, be happy in our lives and future relationships.
What Is A Soul Tie?
In the spiritual realm, a soul tie is the bonding of two souls which have joined through a powerful connection resulting from their attraction to one another. This powerful connection can form in several ways. One being through meaningful friendships, like the biblical reference of King David and Jonathan, King Saul's eldest son. It was said that through friendship "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul"*.
Another way soul ties can be formed is through vows and promises. Have you ever been to a wedding ceremony and heard the minister or priest say the couple will now be joined as one? It is through marriage vows spoken and ordained during this ceremony that these two individuals are connected and their souls joined.
Most commonly, when people speak of soul ties, they are referring to the connection which is formed through sexual relations with another person. During a sexual encounter it is believed that two souls meet and are bound together for an extended amount of time, and in some cases forever.
What Are the Effects of a Sexual Soul Ties?
When you are spiritually bound to someone through a sexual encounter, the effects can be wonderful if that person is your life partner and is committed to loving you until the end of time. The flip-side to a sexual soul tie is connecting with someone who is temporary or living in turmoil – the consequences in this case can be detrimental. It is believed that during the binding of souls, fragments of one soul are left with the other person and vice versa. In other words, you lose pieces of yourself while gaining pieces of the other person which could be good and bad traits. Hence the reason some elders say, you are who you sleep with.
The Science Behind Sexual Soul Ties
Some people do not believe in the idea of soul ties, but the fact is scientifically, sexual encounters cause bonds that may be hard to part with. During a sexual experience or intimate touch, chemicals such as oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins are released, activating the reward circuit in our brains. Our pleasure sensors are then stimulated and our brain craves more pleasure stimuli. This is similar to the activity that occurs during the use of drugs, gambling, and eating addictions...it also occurs at much higher levels in women. With this said, it is through sex that we formulate attachments which causes an emotional high and yearning for our partner.
So How Do You Break Soul Ties?
Just like any addiction, letting go of the very thing you are bound to can be difficult. The key to breaking a soul tie is severing all physical contact and communication with the person you need to let go. Allow yourself ample time and space to heal. During this time of healing, connect with your spiritual self and Higher Power for guidance and therapeutic reflection. You can also seek counseling from a professional who can help you sort through emotions and contrive a course of action to overcome your distress. In whichever steps you choose to take, understand it is normal to feel extreme sadness when letting go of someone you care deeply for, but with time all wounds heal.
* (1 Samuel 18:1 ). The Holy Bible, New International Version, 2011.
“Your Brain on Love or Drugs.” Love Addiction Treatment, 25 Oct. 2013, www.loveaddictiontreatment.com/loveaddictionnews/your-brain-on-love-or-drugs/.